While I usually lament about the tube, I ride it practically every day. And while it is hot and stuffy and I complain about it more often than not, today I could not ride it because, as the signs and loudspeakers announced to the confused commuters, there was a "customer" under the train. At that moment, I missed the tube.
Just like that, a morning that began with oatmeal, my new yellow pashmina, and a smile on my face turned into a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Upon hearing this - all so matter- of factly from the police officer as if he just told me it rains a lot in London - my heart sinks and I find myself waiting at a cold bus stop to catch the 6 bus to work, running late and unable to get my mind off the person who willingly jumped in front of a tube to take their life. The holidays are supposed to be a time of celebration - everyone knows it is my favorite time of year. But, as Robert explained to me when I arrived at work flustered and affected, it is also a time where a lot of people decide in a depressive and delusional state, to take their lives via public transportation. Apparently this is not at all unusual, "it happens all the time," but for me, it was a smack-in-the-face way to begin a rainy and cold day.
Both Gordon and Robert were in the office when I arrived this morning and after discussing the tube situation, we got straight to work. There was a tense vibe in the office, I am not sure if it is the rainy weather or the credit crunch, but it seemed we were all in a bit of a funk.
The majority of my day was spent finishing editing the female CV’s. This took me about an hour to complete, which is yet another task achieved. The phone was very quiet today, due in large part to the credit crunch and the fact that the holiday season is not a very busy time for the industry. The casting of Sister Act is still in progress and we have four clients called back which is very promising. We also had a client received the part of Nala in The Lion King today, which is great news as well. In addition, Leanne Jones, the lead actress in Hairspray, just received a significant pay raise for continuing her contract for another 6 months. This consistency is great for a young business because it guarantees commission for the agency.
We had two meetings today. The first was at 11am, just shortly after I got into work. It was with a graduated student of the London School of Musical Theatre, so we had high hopes for her audition. I thought her acting was very good, but her voice was simply not strong enough. I also cannot get over how unprepared these people are. When asked certain interview questions, I have seen so many admittedly draw a blank, showing that they do not know the agency or the industry well enough – it simply does not leave a good impression. Rob and Gordon both agreed that she simply did not have what it takes and was not at all right for the agency, which is quite sad seeing as she has a passion for music and spent a lot of money on training. I have come to learn that in this industry, either you have it and training enhances those natural skills, or you do not, and unfortunately we see many clients who fall into the latter category.
The second meeting was with my internship coordinator Emma Coelho, who came in at about 1pm, just after my lunch break, to speak with Gordon and I about the experience. She stayed for about 45 minutes discussing the work I have done with the agency, my future aspirations, and if Kelly Management would want to be considered a placement for future interns. Robert was out of the office on a lunch meeting, but Gordon spoke so highly of me, which made me feel good. It was a bit awkward to be there when Gordon was asked, "So how is Jenny doing..." but also nice to hear the positive feedback. Because I have formed such a strong relationship with them, and they desperately need the help, they are going to seek out a new intern for January which makes me feel really great for leaving a good impression, but also sad that I will soon be replaced :(
After Emma left to go to her next meeting, Gordon and I continued working and caught up on our weekends and just talked about the funk I was feeling. I moved on to write and send the invoices to our clients, which I hadn’t done since Gordon was on holiday, so I did not mind. The rest of the day was spent doing more administrative work, filing and answering the few phones calls that came in. We also made plans to see our client in the West End musical Grease on Monday night, which I am very excited for. I am so lucky as to all the theatre I have been able to see! And, after working in the agency, I have a new perspective for theatre. I work everyday with agents who are trying to find quality talent and so I am more critical of what is out there. But then again, they are usually 100 times more critical than I am, which makes sense seeing as I find joy in watching HSM 3 - not an oscar-winning movie by any means, but one of my favorites without a doubt.
After work, I rushed off to the National Theatre to see the production of The War Horse, which was very long, but visually stunning. They had people inside these mechanical horses moving the structure and bringing it to life - it was incredible. Theatrically it was very impressive, but the plot, which is about a boy and his horse during WW1 was very slow, had a 30 minute intermission, and a technical difficulty which kept us waiting an additional 15 smack in the middle of Act 1. Walking away, I certainly appreciated the talent and creative genius it took to bring the children's story to life on stage, but I was not thrilled with the actual story itself.
And again, seeing all this death and sadness on stage, and then walking home in the gloomy rain, is just getting me down. Not to mention, this was supposed to be a popular show amongst children. Let me tell you right now, if I saw this any time before the age of 13 I would have been on the floor in the fetal position totally and utterly freaked out, nightmares for days. It was such a sad and graphic production about the causalities of war.
I guess, all the death (that story about Jennifer Hudson is also weighing on my mind - so awful what happened to her family), the never-ending rain, the political controversy (tomorrow is the big day.....) it takes me out of my positive and happy bubble and forces me to become jaded to this world. I do not want to see the world as an ugly place, but when people are so depressed that they would take their lives in such a selfish way it is hard not to be disgusted and wonder what went wrong. You wonder why I love HSM so much - it is because it is a version of the world, that while unrealistic, makes me feel so happy inside. And like I said yesterday, I sometimes prefer the fairy tale over the truth, and if that makes me less adult or less mature, than so be it.
In the end, the beauty is, in these moments when I lose faith in the real world and just want to curl up in a ball, the sun comes out and a new day begins. Thank goodness for that.
Love and hugs,
Jenny
No comments:
Post a Comment